Have you, or someone you know, ever shared that they would love to give birth at home but their partner/husband is just not on board with it?

I have had this scenario come up many times over the 17 years I have been teaching HypnoBirthing®.  With my background as a therapist, couples are willing to bring it up with me to process it.   Here are some suggestions:

  • Share with each other your vision for the birth of your baby.  Each partner can take 5-10 minutes while the other partner just listens- no comments/questions until they’re done.
  • Discuss/make a list of the pros and cons of each (hospital vs. home)
  • Is it solely for financial reasons?  (Because insurance companies usually pay for the hospital birth, even though it’s always more expensive…go figure!)
  • Contact some home birth midwives and get the figures so that you are dealing with reality and not supposition. Are there some discretionary expenses that could be eliminated in order to save for a homebirth? Might including the additional expense on your “wish list” for your baby shower be an option?
  • Is it because he feels “safer” in the hospital (just in case….)?
  • Is there a compromise?  Might a birth center be a good compromise? Visit some of the local birth centers and see if that eases concerns.
  • Do you have friends who have birthed at home?  If so, sit down with them and discuss the pros and cons.
  • Education- Take a natural childbirth class (of course I recommend HypnoBirthing®) and ask questions.

A most memorable story I love to share with others is that of a couple that took my HypnoBirthing classes.  At the first class they shared that she wanted to birth at home but he just wasn’t on board with it.  At the end of the FIRST class he turned to her and said “We’re birthing at home!”  She was in shock responding with “Why, what happened”.  His response was “It just makes sense…”  Sometimes just a little education is all it takes.